Have you ever wondered why people use the phrase, "the waiting game?" I'm not playing a game when I have to wait for something. If it was a game, then I would lose because I'm so anxious, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the game! I might have written my first blog a little too earlier. I just want to be in Alaska, but I still have two weeks to wait.
You see, I recently went through a hard break up with my boyfriend of two and a half years. He was my first love and we planned to be married. It has been hard for me, because the change in our relationship was his choice. It has been heart breaking. Now, I'm not going to rant and rave about how I hate him, because I can't do that...he isn't a bad guy for making this change. I understand it was right for him. He needed to make changes in his life to grow, it just came in the form of our relationship. I don't get it. But that is life. I'm a religious person and I believe that one day it will make sense to me. (deep breath)
Anyhow, this was the reason I decided to go to Alaska. As I said in my last blog, I knew I wanted to take a big trip. I needed to get away from my routines for awhile. We have been broken up for about four months, but it is still hard for me at times. Going to Alaska will be nice, because no one knows my sorrows. It is a fresh start. A time to have fun and move on. I have told myself that this month is the last month to "mourn" and that's it. When I leave for Alaska the past will be in the past. But I'm sick of mourning...I'm ready to go.
I can tell I'm ready, because I'm speeding through my daily work. It is the last week of school, my last week of first year teaching and I'm anxious to move on. I should be embracing the last week. It is a great time. I will never teach these students again...I should be thinking, did I do everything I could do? But I'm not thinking about that. Instead I'm reading books about Alaska, creating a packing list, daydreaming of grizzly bears and glacier hikes. I want to go already. Yet, I shouldn't rush time, because when I get there I will want it to slow down.
So this is where I am at. Ready and waiting. The funny thing is when it comes to the day before my trip I will probably be wishing I had more time to pack!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
The waiting process
Posted by Travelin' Tracy at 8:02 PM
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6 comments:
You're back! :) I thought maybe you had gotten lost somewhere in the wilds of Alaska, but now I see that you have not yet left. Glad you're safe. :)
I think taking a big adventure like this one is a great way to celebrate your first year teaching, and to move on from the break-up. It can mark a clean line between "life before" and "life after". So, good for you!
When do you leave? How did you find out about this Alaska job, anyway?
Just read your reply on the previous post!
July 1 ... wow! It will be here before you know it.
So wierd - after my first year teaching, I left at the beginning of July for Italy and spent the summer there. Many similarities.
:)
I guess I should have mentioned that I wasn't leaving until July. Now I get to sit through a few teacher work days and a week long training session.
Mo- How many years did you teach and why have you changed careers? You also asked how I found out about the job? Well, it was a spin off of online dating. I ended up making friends with a guy who works in Alaska who peaked my interest in the location and was able to get my information on different business out there. Usually you can go on the town website for any of the cruise stops and there are a ton of job postings. Why, do you want to come with me to Alaska?
Hey Tracy,
I've been teaching for 6.5 years now. Jeeeez, that seems like a long time! I got laid off from my job due to budget problems in my district and state. :( There are actually about 1,000 of us who were laid off within the last year. Sad, huh? I should just move out of state to someplace where they need teachers. Oh well. For now, I'm just seeing what is around here.
When I went to Italy, I wondered what the hell I would do for a whole summer so far away, too. I ended up going to some website called "Volunteers for Peace" and I got a volunteer job in some little southern Italian town. It was fun and I got to meet a group of people from all over the world! It was fun. :)
Wow, I admire your courage. I notice a lot of similarities to events in my life. I, however, will be discovering the "wilds" of Chico California in my efforts to "find myself" after the breakup. I hope that I can come to the sort of peace with the situation that you describe. Good luck, less than a week left for you to wait! :-)
Tracy ~ It's July 30th today. Around noon.
Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you as you are probably in a mad rush to make sure you have everything for tomorrow's departure!
BON VOYAGE!
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