Cruise Ship Quirks

It has been about twelve years since I have set foot on a cruise boat. I was so excited about this family trip, because it was going to be on a boat. Personally, I would never book a trip on a cruise; it isn't my favorite way to travel. I prefer to spend a lot of time getting to know the people and culture of the new land I am visiting. I want to build relationships with the people. To see what the average person does in the morning, afternoon, and night. When you go on a cruise, this type of travel is not possible. You are alloted a short time on land, which is usually occupied with excursions or shopping. But my parents love cruises, so I was excited to experience something I hadn't "tasted" for a while. From the first day on board I found a few quirks about cruise ship travel that I would like to mention:

1.Cruise Ships Are All About the Food!
I discovered that eating is the main focus on cruise liners. It took my family a few hours to get checked into the boat and since we had come straight from the airport, we were all starving. We headed straight for the ninth floor Cafe, which is set up buffet style. I was amazed to see a packed room, with long lines for the food. Actually, I was pretty hungry waiting to get on the ship, so I guess I can understand why others would be there too. But when I sat down to eat I couldn't help but noticed that the lady sitting next to us had brought three types of dessert back to her table. Seriously, we were going to be there all week, there was no need to gourge.

Throughout the week I noticed a continued focus on food. There is free food available 24 hours a day. A person could order room service, find ice cream at the back of the ship, or even enjoy a midnight buffet. And the formal dinner provides enough food for a person to survive on for a day. When you sit down for dinner, you are brought a menu with about five choices in starters, two salads, five main courses, and then desserts. What do you do if you like two of the starters or three main dishes? Not to worry! You can get them all. My dad is an expert at this. He is a BIG boy and must have ordered five lobster dinners. That same night I wanted to try the lobster but the vegetarian dish also looked appealing, so I got both. On a cruise you can eat to your stomach's content, or even beyound that!

2. Cruise ships have a mysterious underworld.
Have you ever wondered what the staff do when they aren't working? Well, I think about those things. Across from our cabin door there was a staff only doorway. Each day I would contemplate what happened behind that closed door. I wondered how many hidden passages I could discover. What might the crew look like, when they weren't all dressed up? And what did they say about the vacationers? You know, cruise staff really don't get that much time off. You see, even though cruises look like American style ships, they actually run their businesses through other countries so they can give the staff less pay and fewer hours. I spent one day on land with a staff member and I got to ask a lot of questions. Working on a cruise must be a stressful job. Either they are working or sleeping, but I guess that is why they make so much money (no where to go, no where to spend).

3.Cruise Ships Make Spending Easy.
Since the ships are so big, they can almost be called a city on the sea. Our ship was carrying about 3600 guests plus numerous staff. When you check into a cruise, you are given a very special room key. Actually, it is SO much more then a room key. You must NEVER go anywhere without it. From the moment I stepped onto the open deck I was offered a drink. After asking for a water I was asked to present my card. I just started my first ever tab. The next day I went down to the gift shop and found the cutest cover-up for my bathing suit, so I got it and added it to my tab. That night for dinner I had to have a pina colada, it went on the tab too. When I got sick and was throwing up for eight hours I got pills from the infirmary (I paid for those on my tab). When I went scuba diving in Honduras, swimming with the sting rays in Grand Cayman, and zip lining in the jungles of Belize I just charged it all to my little room card. It was fun. Oh, I also went to the spa. Would you believe the facial also got added to the tab? My bill was slowly adding up, but I had no idea how much. I was saving my cash, but at the end of the week I was given a large total! Those cruise ship people are so smart, they really know how to make their money.

4. Cruise Ships Are Full of Ugly Americans
When I was studying in London my professor would always remind us about proper behavior. She said, "Never be an ugly American!" Basically she was reminding us not to stand out, to be loud, or demanding. Ever since that experience I have always looked at American tourists from a different perspective. I have decided that cruise ships are full of the "ugly Americans." For example, the service should cater to their every need. When I was waiting for my sister on the dock in Costa Maya I happened to sit next to two overweight middle age women. They didn't want to make a ten minute walk down the dock because it was so hot. When they tried asking a dock worker when the trolley would return they were upset that he didn't speak English. We were in Mexico, the dock worker did not have to know English! I hate when Americans assume that everyone should know English. I found that cruise ships were loaded with tons of people who expected to be treated above and beyond, because they paid $600 to get on the ship!

5. Cruise ships run a TIGHT Schedule!
I realize that they ships have to plan everything. They have to be at port at specific times and leave at specific times to reach the next destination, but the guests are horded around from event to event. If you go on a shore excursion you have to watch the time very carefully to get back on board. It is all about the time. And when you are on board the time schedule runs your life. There are times for fitness programs, bingo, games, music, entertainment, dinner, and even the casino. When there were only two days left I stopped and said to myself, "aren't you on vacation? Then why are you so tired?" Honestly, I had tried to do too many things. So the last day I vowed not to do any shore exercusions and I just roamed the small shops. Don't worry though, I made sure I was back on board before I needed to be!


So if you decide to cruise, then keep in mind these five quirks and you will have a great time. I know I did. There is so much I want to share...from the excursions, to the boys that I met, or about getting sick. This trip has given me lots to start posting about!