Family Tree

The other day I had a fun conversation with my friend, Torey, about family. There is almost always one person in the family that drives everyone crazy. Or maybe they embarrass the rest of the family? Could it be that they are naggers who constantly ask, "are you dating yet? When are you getting married? When are you going to start having children?" Crazy family members can appear within your own immediate family or almost always with a distant relative. Sometimes I am a little afraid to invite friends to my parents house. My dad knows just how to make me regret it. There are days when I seriously think, MY FAMILY IS SO DISFUNCTIONAL. Actually, my family tree is whole story in and of itself. Here is how the conversation with my friend played out.

Me: You want to know about my family? Okay, but pay attention carefully because this can get complicated. You see, my grandparents on the mother's side are related.

Torey: How are they related?

Me: Well, they are related by marriage. It's a bit complicated so you will have to pay attention when I explain, but I think they are also related by blood. Although I don't think they are that closely related by blood. The priest approved it, so I think it is okay.

Torey: Okay, so how are they related by marriage.

Me: Here is goes...my great grandpa got married. They had four children and one of them was my grandpa. Then my great grandmother died. Four children is a lot for one man to take care of alone so he decided to remarry. All my family is French Canadian so he basically went through family to meet his next wife (who would also be French Canadian), which is my grandmother's oldest sister.

Torey: What? I don't get it, your grandmother's sister?

Me: I told you, you have to really focus when I explain this. When my great grandpa remarried for a second time it was to my grandmother's oldest sister. And then they had four more children. Do you get it?

Torey: I think so...

Me: You see, each time my grandma's sister got pregnant, my grandmother would come down from Canada to help and she would spend time hanging out with my grandpa. That is how they first started dating. It is kinda funny, because my grandpa's half brothers are actually my grandmothers nephews!

Torey: That is confusing. And they are related by blood too?

Me: Yep. I guess that is why I turned out as crazy as I am, hahaa. But it is pretty crazy when I'm around my relatives. I'm always wondering do I call them my cousins or not? I know that my mom is an only child...but when they are close to my age it is just easier to say cousin. Actually I think they might be uncle/cousins. You see, look at it this way. My grandpa has a half-brother named Richard. Now remember, Richard would also be my grandmother's nephew. So when my mom was born she had a choice. Richard could either be her uncle (grandpa's side) or her cousin (grandma's side). Confusing, right? So that's why it is just easier to call them family.

Torey: That is pretty weird. What about your dad's side?

Me: Well, they aren't as close. I'm a little embarrassed to say this, but I can't remember how many brothers and sisters my dad has! I think there are seven siblings. I really only know three of them well, Junior, Debbie, and Carolyn. Then I know there is Patty and Neva, they are adopted. And Susie (whom I always picture as poor trailer trash, but I don't know if I have met her) and Richard. I really think I am missing someone...maybe there is eight siblings.

Torey: I can't believe you don't know.

Me: We don't really keep in touch. If it wasn't for my mom, then I don't think we would know anything about my dad's side of the family. So I really only know four of my cousins, but I know there are more. Hmm, I should find out. Maybe I will go to Texas this summer to visit them all.

Torey: That would be a good idea.

** Anyhow, our conversation went on for a while about how strange families can be. I really have an odd family. The next day when I was eating dinner I mentioned the conversation with my family. I told them how I couldn't remember how many siblings where on dad's side. There are actually nine siblings. I forgot about Michael and Kathy. And even though I thought Susie was the one that lived in a trailer it is actually Kathy (not that living in a trailer is a bad thing...I just imagine that).

Oh, and I also found out how closely related my grandparents by blood are on my mother's side. They are SECOND COUSINS! Can you believe that? That means my great grandparents are first cousins. It is a lot to take in. Did I confuse anyone? Seriously sometimes I think, my family has problems!