A School Rant

I love my job, but sometimes there are a few things that I really hate. Today I had to experience one of them: Ugly Parents. Most parents are just fine, but there is something about the ugly parents that makes me feel threatened. I think it is because I'm still young so most parents think they know more then me.

Here is the senario:

Third term report cards went out about a month ago. One of my honor students, whom is a bright young man, got a B+ in History. Apparently he is an all A student and this is the first time in his school career that he recieved a B (oh, and he also got a B in P.E.). Of course, this was a shock to his parents. They were so upset that they waited about three weeks to contact the school and schedule a meeting with me. The 6th grade counselor organized the meeting and planned to attend as well. It was set up a week in advance.

In our middle school we use a team system. So all my students have the same Science, Math, History, and English teachers. We meet weekly to discuss how we can cross the subjects over into other classes and we also talk about our students. We discuss how they are doing in class, if there are behavior problems, or if they may need extra assitance. It is great to work as a team. So naturally when a parent wants to conference we usually meet with them as a team. Not this time, she just wanted to meet with me because she didn't want to "influence" the other teachers. Pah-lease! After talking with my team about having a concern with this boy we discussed some concerns in other classes (his behavior in math, effort in English, etc) so we asked the counselor to set the meeting up for the entire team. I felt good about this, since I knew I had not done anything wrong, and I knew it would be good for her to see that her child was not perfect.

The counselor met back up with me that afternoon to warn me that she did not want to meet with the team, just ME. Seriously, I'm a good teacher, I know that, so what could I have done wrong. For goodness gracious, he had a 91%, that is a good grade. It is not my fault he took a lead role in the school play and was really busy afterschool. He probably rushed through his work. Before the meeting I decided to be prepared. I had a feeling she was going to bring the fire. Since I wasn't going to get burned I rifled through my own stuff to make sure I was flame retardant! I had a copy of his grades for three terms, an example of his work from the English class, which showed that his effort was lacking throughout (since I had already returned his project and rubric), and a signed interim by mom that showed his grade at the half-point mark (it was a 90% B+). Here is how the meeting panned out:

*Oh, I neglected to mention that she didn't want to meet with the whole team, because she didn't want to feel ganged up on and intimidated, and she would only agree to that if her husband was there. When I walked in for the meeting, guess who was with her, her husband!! So I guess it was gang up on the History teacher day.

I shake hands with the mom and dad and introduce myself. Then I take a seat while I watch the mom pull out material one at a time to display on the table. First she pulled out his History notebook, then the report card, next came the project, and finally the grade rubric for the project. **Gulp**This is going to be a long meeting. I hate when I have to defend myself.

She-devil mom: My son is an all A student and I was shocked when he brought home his report card with this B+. I know my son is smart. I have an older daughter, who also gets all As, but she has to really work for it. She works so hard and then there is my son who is just naturally smart.

Me: That can be so frustrating, right?

She-devil mom: Stares me down before saying, I guess. Well, on the report card your comments said, "Needs to use time wisely in class," and "Work to your potential." Can you explain why you used that?

First of all, am I on the witness stand? Am I on trial? Does she have to question me like this, because I certainly feel like I'm defending myself right now. In my head I'm really thinking, "oh I'm so glad I used those comments, they were perfect and very true!"

Me: Sure. First of all, I made a copy of his grade up to this point. You can see how he has done throughout the year as well as this term. I know your son is very smart. I agree with you, but sometimes in class he can be a bit talkative, which explains the first comment. He knows the rules in my class and he follows them. He knows that he cannot work on the puzzle table until he has finished his work and that he cannot work with a partner on homework until class work is completed. He follows those rules, but I have found that he is rushing through his work so that he can talk with his friends. This has effected his grades because some of his classwork has mistakes. In addition he did get an 87/100 on his project because some of the work on the project was rushed.

She devil mom: What project?

Me: The book report.

She-devil mom: Well, I have some questions about the book report, but finish what you have to say.

Oh, okay, thanks for letting me finish my opening remarks!

Me: I think your son is an A student as well. So when he got a B+ on the report card I knew that he wasn't working to his potential. I even sent home an interim at the half way mark. which showed his grade as a B+ so you would be aware and he was aware. He is smart, but he also needs to apply that knowledge. That is why I used the second comment.

She-devil mom: Okay, well I want to talk about the book report. My son is not an artist. I feel like you graded him on the art, but this is History class, not art class. I know that you have to been creative, I'm a creative person too, but I feel like this project was graded too much on the artwork. I think he did his best. The comments on the grade rubric show that you took points off in three areas and mostly for art. You said, "The beginning of the comic book is done better then the end. The end needs to be neater and more detailed."

Personally I think he did the best he could do, because he is not an artist. I realize that the students had three options to choose from and he chose to present with a comic book...

Level-headed dad: He wanted to try to present in a different way this time. I guess he is trying to do that for each project.

I must say that I was really impressed by this. Most sixth graders are looking for the easiest possible project. It was very ambitious to try something new for each term. That made me smile.


She-devil mom: Right. I tried to convince him to do the scrapbook because I knew that I could buy things at the scrapbook store for the project. And I know that you mentioned that the comic book could be computer generated, but we don't know how to do those things. So it had to be done by hand. Personally, I would have drawn stick figures, so he did better then me.

You mention here (looking at the rubric) that he did a better job at the beginning of the comic book then at the end, but I personally think it looks the same. I just think this was his best.

As she is talking she is also flipping through the comic book. I can see clearly the beginning, which looks so much better then the end and I'm sitting about two feet away. I know this, because I have seen his work in English class and I know he did the same thing! I am listening to her and smiling but inside I know that I am right.

She-devil mom: You also mention that the title didn't represent the book very well. You may think that. but when he explained it to me I understood why he used that title. You see there is a kerosene bottle and that is the house burning, which should represent the book "Out of the Dust." I have not read the book, but it made sense to me. If you asked him what it meant then it would have made sense. Since you didn't ask him, you would not know.

Okay, maybe that is right, but the whole point is that I shouldn't have to ask what it means. That is what makes an A project! Stop trying to intimidate me!

She-devil mom: I just think he did his best and it looks the same all around. I know he is smart. I didn't get the rubric for this book report until the report card came out. Probably because he is a boy. Boys can be forgetful. When there is a paper that needs to come home, my daughter always gives it to me right away, but my son never remembers. If I had known I was would have called before the report card went out. And you had the book report, right?

Me: Yes, I keep them on display until the end of each term.

Do we really need all these tangents? Just so you know, girls can be forgetful too. I can list about thirty of them that I teach this year.

She-devil mom: Well, he didn't give the rubric to me until later and I would have called. I wasn't the only parent concerned. I know another parent who was concerned about her daughter's project. because she also choose to do the comic book and her daughter is not an artist. And there was another parent who was concerned and said that if the artwork lowered the grade they were going to call to set up a meeting. Nothing happened my friend's girl, and I don't know, since I haven't seen her project.

I hate hearsay. I haven't heard any complaints from other parents. In fact, I have had parents approach me to thank me for doing a good job. I know I'm still new and I truly appreciate the thank yous. It makes me week, because I love my job and I want to help my students.

She-devil mom: I think it he did his best and I feel like you graded his book report harshly.

Let's face it, she talked a lot more then this, but I don't want to go on forever!

Me: Okay, well, I respect your opinion but (as I grab the book report) I stand by what I wrote on the rubric, that I think he did a better job at the beginning of the book report versus the end of the book report. The end looks rushed to me and I just don't see the same effort put into detail at the end as I do in the beginning. I was pointing out specific pictures while I talked.

She-devil mom: You didn't write anything about detail on the rubric, just that it wasn't neat. Oh, wait, you wrote it right here.

Me: I certainly don't try to grade projects based on artwork. I do expect effort and I didn't think this was an A project. But I also think it is important to remember an 87 out of a 100 is not a bad grade, that is a B and it is above average. It just wasn't an A project.

She-devil mom: I guess I just needed to hear that his grade on the report card was not just from the project.

Me: Your son is a good student. I want him to be successful. I think he might be slacking a little in class, which is why he received the grade he did. I know he has a similar problem with English class. I do appreciate the opinions though, because I will keep that in mind when I grade the fourth term project.

At this point the guidance counselor took over. She brought the English teacher in to talk with his parents. I'm glad too, because the English teacher pointed out that even though he had an A last term in her class, the percentage dropped (98% 1st term, 95% 2nd term, 93% 3rd term). Then his Science teacher went into the room and also shared concerns! It would have been so much easier if the She-devil mom let the whole team meet at once. And I found out that the dad became more interactive with each additional teacher. Could it be that the team has something important to say when they start to talk with each other?

You know, sometimes I just can't stand ugly parents. They come into the meeting to proof the teachers are to blame. It could never be their child. Now, the said child in this circumstance really is a good kid, but he is slipping. Why can't these kind of parents realize that teachers are not out to get their children? Why would I choose to give her son a B+ to ruin his perfect record. Does she really think that I even care? I didn't know he had only received A's on every report card.

I think I'm a good teacher. I'm glad I took the time to write thoughtful comments and send out interims to all my students, even though I didn't have to. It paid off in this experience and that is why I do it. I just hope I never turn into an ugly parent!